U.S. NEWS
Kash Patel Cracks Cold Cases Like Eggs for Breakfast
In an astonishing series of events that has left even the most seasoned conspiracy theorists wide-eyed, new FBI director Kash...
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POLITICS
Congress Trades Signs for Shares in Anti-Elon Effort
In an ironic twist of financial activism, Democratic members of Congress have reportedly doubled down on their protests against billionaire...
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WORLD NEWS
Toddler Expelled for Spilling the Tea on Gender
In a shocking twist of preschool politics, a toddler in the United Kingdom was reportedly expelled from his nursery school...
Obama, Clinton, Biden Say No Thanks to DEI Security Details
In a dramatic twist of irony, the Secret Service's attempt to dismiss agents hired under Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI)...
Rosie O’Donnell Demands Election Audit, Baffles Both Sides
In a shocking twist that left even the most hardened political analysts scratching their heads, Rosie O'Donnell has called for...
Usha Vance Sleds Into Greenland, Leaves Politics on Ice
In a move that's catching political pundits and sled dogs alike off-guard, U.S. Second Lady Usha Vance is set to...
ENTERTAINMENT
From Buckingham to Hollywood: Prince Andrew’s Bear Pyramid
In a revelation that has movie buffs and royal watchers alike scratching their heads, royal author Tom Quinn has claimed...
Hough Advocates Land Returns, Keeps Own Plot
At the 97th annual Oscars ceremony, actress Julianne Hough took a bold stance, declaring that Hollywood should return its land...
Newsom’s Podcast Debut Trashed by Barstool’s CEO
In a characteristic display of subtlety, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy has launched a scathing critique of California Governor Gavin...
Private Jets Sell Out as Celebrities Skip Town
As the impending release of the Epstein files looms, a parade of the country's most celebrated celebrities has been seen...
SPORTS
Governor Walz Wrestles with Regret as WWE Match Looms
In an unexpected turn of events, WWE legend Kane has thrown down the gauntlet to challenge Minnesota Governor Tim Walz...
Tiger Woods Swings into Love, Sets Up Epic Family Match
In an unexpected twist that’s more surprising than a hole-in-one on a par five, Tiger Woods has announced his love...
Olympian’s Powdery Stunt Sparks $10 Million Manhunt
In a bizarre twist that blurs the lines between extreme sports and extreme lawbreaking, former Canadian Olympic snowboarder Ryan Wedding...
Democrats Unanimously Back Men in Girls’ Sports Act
In an unprecedented display of partisan unity, every single Democrat Senator has voted "Yes" on the controversial Protection of Men...
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