The weeks following Donald J. Trump’s impressive re-election have been filled with headlines over the controversial and unexpected cabinet picks the President-Elect has made already. Here are the 10 most surprising cabinet picks Donald Trump has made so far!
Secretary of Defense – Vince McMahon
Although there’s simply no questioning McMahon’s extensive business acumen, we’re not sure his diplomatic approach, which involves attacking our enemies with steel chairs, is what this country needs.
Attorney General – Matt Gaetz
Matt Gaetz’s appointment as Attorney General surprised everyo– oh what’s that? Oh. Never mind. Moving right along!
Secretary of the Interior – Shaquille O’Neal
While he’d never admit it, it sure seems like Trump chose O’Neal because he believed his height and NBA experience would help him defend the interior in a literal sense. He’s not qualified at all, but Shaq has never met a gig he’d turn down, and he isn’t starting now!
Secretary of Transportation – George Jetson
Despite repeated warnings that Jetson isn’t real, Trump has insisted that he and Elon Musk work together to bring “that car of his” to mass production as soon as possible.
Secretary of Energy – Hunter Biden
Say what you will about this pick, but something about Biden’s “endless amount of energy” impressed Trump when they met for an interview. Despite disappearing into the bathroom for 35 minutes halfway through it, Trump still decided to offer him the position.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs – Dr. Dolittle
Okay, once again, we’re certain he misunderstood this one as ‘veterinarian’s affairs’. Also, we’re fairly certain Dr. Dolittle is not real, either. (See George Jetson entry above)
Administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency – Walter Peck
Okay, this is just the bad guy from the first Ghostbusters movie. No way this one sticks.
Director of the CIA – Barron Trump
This decision was based upon watching Barron slay multiple opponents in the popular online video game Fortnite.
Chief of Staff – Andy Reid
Trump is reportedly impressed with Reid’s successful career as an NFL coach and thinks his vision and disciplinary tactics are just the thing to keep his staff in line. Still no word yet on whether Reid wants or will accept this position.
Secretary of Homeland Security – The A-Team
This has been met with a lot of scrutiny, but I’m not gonna lie, I love this pick. I think we’ll all sleep a little more soundly at night knowing Murdock, Hannibal and company are out there keeping us protected. I know I will.
That cannot be any worse than what we have had for the past 4 years.
Outstanding, {in the woods looking for Hillary}
Hillary and Kamala are in a cheap, sleazy motel fagging it up!
They’ve been playing “Slut in my Pen” for weeks!