A standout middle school basketball player is poised to skip high school and college altogether and declare himself eligible for next year’s NBA draft, sources confirmed.
“I’m just so proud of my little boy,” said Julie Clemons, whose son Ricky made the bombshell announcement on the school bus earlier today. “He’s always been a standout athlete, and after the season he’s been having [at local Hastings Middle School], we started getting contacted by scouts telling us they think he’s ready to take it to the next, next, next level!”
Despite the average NBA player being much older than Ricky, the Clemons were excited about what this move meant for their family’s future.
“I’m going to play basketball on the TV,” a motivated Ricky told reporters gathered in his bedroom earlier today. “I’m going to go fast and dribble good! Mom says that if I become a millionaire I can get a new iPad and a new puppy. The Washington Wizards called me and said I could start on their team no problem if I wanted to.”
As of press time, Ricky Clemons had become embroiled in controversy after testing negative for performance-enhancing chewable vitamins.
Real sad, you and your family feel an iPad and puppy is more important than getting educated-PLEASE SOMEONE MENTOR THIS CHILD. In some places you have to have a high school diploma to be a janitor.
This “article” is addressing exactly your point in satirical fashion.