Democrats Vote To Delay Embarrassing Government Shutdown Until Later This Year

Democratic lawmakers passed a spending bill yesterday that aims to delay the government’s inevitable shutdown until this autumn, sources have confirmed. 

“What a great day for passing the buck,” said New York Senator Chuck Schumer. “Now that we’ve approved these spending packages at the last possible moment before a shut down, we have a full six months to fuck off before this whole thing sneaks back up on us again. Oh well, we’ll cross that crumbling bridge when we get to it!” 

Critics of the House’s spending bill alleged the action was more of the same from the ineffective politicians in Washington. 

“I think it’s probably not a great sign that Congress keeps voting on budgets and bills literal hours before departments lose their funding,” said local voter Jerry Hill. “And even then it’s just to punt the ball for six months before all of the same problems surface again. But what do I know, I’m just a roofer that puts in 45 hours a week. I don’t know anything about important and honest work like drafting spending budgets.” 

As of press time, everyone in Congress was really pumped that none of this budget stuff interfered with their upcoming two-week recess.