As inclement weather strikes much of the United States in the wake of Hurricane Beryl, shocking home video has captured a tornado touching down in Ohio, before clearly making up its mind to go somewhere else a little less depressing, sources have confirmed.
“I’ve never seen anything like that,” said Cincinnati resident Paul Melton. “We were looking out the window when we saw the twister hit our neighbor’s house. And then you’re not gonna believe me, but I swear it seemed like the tornado somehow looked around, then just decided to go somewhere, anywhere else. This is the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve spent my whole life in Ohio, so that’s really saying something.”
Though many were surprised by the tornados’ apparent sentience, experts clarified that the behavior is not uncommon.
“Oh yeah, these storms have a mind of their own,” said meteorologist Doris Arnold. “That’s why so many of them happen in beautiful places like Florida and Mexico. Once in a while you see a tornado that wants to do its own thing, but they generally get the same impression of Ohio that humans do: not really worth it unless you’re going to Cedar Point or the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.”
As of press time, sources have confirmed that the wandering tornado has touched down in nearby upstate Michigan, where it’s actually pretty nice.
Whoa! Michigan is nicer than Ohio? Them’s fightin’ words in the buckeye state.
LOL
Wake up people! The deep state has technology that controls the weather. They can direct tornadoes and hurricanes to intensify and strike where they want! Why do you suppose so many hurricanes hit the Houston area and cause so much flooding? Why do you suppose the hurricane that was supposed to hit the Tampa, FL area instead took an abrupt sharp right-hand turn and went into the Ft Myers, FL area instead? All of this was directed or re-directed by man-made technologies.
Which one? Charley in 2004 or Ian in 2022?
Seems you read a lot of sci-fi. If we could control the weather wouldn’t we have it wreck havoc on Russia or China or North Korea, instead of California or Texas?
Silly
Wake up people! The deep state has technology that controls the weather. They can direct tornadoes and hurricanes to intensify and strike where they want! Why do you suppose so many hurricanes hit the Houston area and cause so much flooding? Why do you suppose the hurricane that was supposed to hit the Tampa, FL area instead took an abrupt sharp right-hand turn and went into the Ft Myers, FL area instead? All of this was directed or re-directed by man-made technologies.
Tornadoes do not just change course all of a sudden. That was directly directed by HAARP from Alaska. No one is going to change my mind about this.
Where is the “dramatic video?” No links provided!
Really.
That was stupid naming Ohio. It would have been MUCH funnier if you had named somewhere like California. Good satire requires a grain of truth.
BTW: Do like your postings..
Apparently, satire is difficult to recognize.
Thank God! I though I was the only one who believed that the weather was being manipulated by man in order to push their climate change ideology.
If they would stop interfering with mother nature, the weather pattern would correct itself!