In his final address to the nation, President Biden issued a stark warning that has sent shockwaves across America: rich people are, indeed, rich, sources have confirmed.
The groundbreaking revelation came as Biden sought to highlight the disparities in wealth that have apparently gone unnoticed until his presidency.
“Listen, folks,” Biden said, squinting at the teleprompter, “it turns out that those folks living in big houses and flying private jets… they have more money than you do.” The address, which analysts have called a “masterclass in stating the obvious,” was met with gasps from several interns who were previously unaware of this dynamic.
During the speech, Biden proposed a series of measures aimed at ensuring Americans never forget this critical piece of information, including mandatory annual viewings of “The Wolf of Wall Street” and “Richie Rich.”
Critics argue that Biden’s revelation is as groundbreaking as discovering that water is wet, but supporters have lauded it as a bold move to keep the public informed.
As of press time, Wikipedia editors were reportedly updating the definition of ‘rich’ to include a photo of Biden pointing at a billionaire with a caption, “This guy, he’s rich.”
