After benching young quarterback Bryce Young just two games into his sophomore season, the woeful Carolina Panthers held an open tryout for their starting quarterback position this week, sources have confirmed.
“Today’s the day my dream comes true,” said Bill Holton, a 44-year-old local teacher who was one of many who participated in the Panther’s open audition. “I hurt my shoulder in college, so that kept me from playing too much ball, but I can still chuck ‘em pretty good. I think I have a shot at making backup, at least.”
Dave Canales, the Panther’s head coach, defended his controversial decision.
“Lot of talent out here, I’m seeing some really good things,” said Canales. “A lot of people are saying we should have given Young more of a shot, since we sold the farm to get him, and never put a good offensive line in front of him, but trust me: I’m the coach here. This is the best way to go forward. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to get these guys to run wind sprints in the parking lot and see who’s gonna be our starter against the Raiders this week.”
As of press time, the Panthers had signed Andy Dalton, a guy no one recognized but who swore he used to play for the Bengals.
They should give Copperdick a shot. He needs a place to kneel down.