U.S. NEWS
Cuban Claims Trump’s Sales Skills Chill the Competition
In an unusual bout of praise from an unexpected quarter, billionaire entrepreneur Mark Cuban has recently declared that President Donald...
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POLITICS
Musk’s DOGE Tells Inefficiency to Politely F— Off
In an epic clapback that only a billionaire tech mogul could muster, Elon Musk responded to Texas Democratic Rep. Jasmine...
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WORLD NEWS
Common Sense Makes a German Comeback
In a stunning turn of events that some are calling the "Return of Reason," Germany has allegedly rediscovered its common...
Trump Labels Ukraine’s Leadership a Stand-Up Joke
In a candid outburst that shocked no one but amused many, President Donald Trump labeled Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskyy as...
No Laughing Matter, Germany Outlaws Humor
In a bold move that has satirists shaking in their boots, Germany has reportedly made jokes illegal, sources have confirmed....
U.K. Man Arrested for Silent Treatment Gone Too Far
In what might be the first case of its kind, a U.K. man has been arrested for maintaining an excessive...
ENTERTAINMENT
Kamala Harris Tosses Salads, Not Songs, to Broadway
In a theatrical gesture that has the Great White Way buzzing, Vice President Kamala Harris delivered salad to the cast...
Bill Maher: Turn Boy Scouts into Girl Scouts, Easy Fix
In his latest comedic jab at the expense of modern gender debates, comedian Bill Maher suggested that the solution to...
Comedian Sues Hollywood for Being Overly White
In an episode that could only happen in the drama-filled corridors of Hollywood, comedian Tyler Fischer is embroiled in a...
Star Wars Hotel Enters New Orbit as Corporate Space
In a twist that even the most devoted Star Wars fan couldn't have predicted, Disney has announced plans to convert...
SPORTS
Governor Mills Recruits LeBron for WNBA, Baffles Fans
In a bold move that's left sports commentators scratching their heads and fans wildly amused, Maine Governor Janet Mills has...
Yankees Swap Bats for ‘Staches in New Team Policy
In a nod to bygone eras of baseball glory, Yankees’ owner Hal Steinbrenner has announced a hairy new policy: all...
Birth Certificate Switch Lets Men Compete in Women’s NCAA
In a groundbreaking move that's stirring up more drama than a season finale of a reality TV show, the NCAA...
Tkachuk’s Boo-zy Comeback for Canadians
In a defiant response to being booed by Canadian fans during the American national anthem, Team USA hockey star Matthew...
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