Judge Juan Merchan has sentenced Donald Trump to a second term in office, sources have confirmed.
In an unprecedented judicial ruling that has left constitutional scholars scratching their heads and comedians rushing to their notepads, the judge declared, “Only a presidency can rehabilitate Mr. Trump.”
The decision came after a lengthy deliberation where the judge apparently mistook his legal powers for divine intervention, quipping, “Let’s give America a rerun, with God’s speed!” Legal experts were quick to point out that American courts don’t actually have the authority to mandate presidential terms, but that didn’t stop Judge Merchan from ordering the White House to prepare the Oval Office for Trump’s return.
Supporters of Trump welcomed the news with glee, planning victory parades that could double as constitutional crisis seminars. Opponents, meanwhile, have been left to ponder the realities of a legal system that now seems to operate on the principles of reality TV.
As of press time, the Supreme Court was hastily reviewing ‘Judging for Dummies’ books, while Trump was seen measuring curtains for the Oval Office.
It’s time to let President Trump get back to work. I Pray the Media will report Unbiased News and allow Trump to continue the same Great work He was getting done in His 1st term. I Pray Mr. Trump is asking God for His Divine Guidance as We Pray for God to lead Our Country down a Righteous path! Put God back in the Classrooms and Our Court Houses. God Bless America!!