In a move that has raised more eyebrows than a botox party in Beverly Hills, a new “Men’s Only” club for migrants is set to open in the Bronx, sources have confirmed.
Local residents are expressing everything from outrage to sheer terror, concerned about what exactly such an establishment might attract—aside from questionable fashion choices.
“The last thing we need is a bunch of men congregating, plotting who knows what—maybe even a neighborhood poker tournament,” one worried local was overheard saying at a community meeting. The club, which promises to be a sanctuary for male bonding over things like soccer and who makes the best empanada, has been met with fierce opposition.
Critics argue that the club will disrupt the local culture, which is traditionally based on family gatherings and block parties, not secretive men-only assemblies. Proponents, however, claim it’s just a place for newcomers to feel at home and discuss common interests without causing any trouble.
As of press time, the club’s opening night is set to feature a live band, with local police ready to intervene should the music choice turn to anything overly rowdy or rebelliously folk.
That is pretty disgusting