NFL kicker Justin Tucker is currently under investigation after being accused of bringing an excessive amount of baby oil to his massage sessions, sources have confirmed.
The kicker, known for his precision on the field, apparently doesn’t skimp on lubrication either. The stash of oil he used is rumored to have come from none other than Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs’ personal collection.
The investigation began when Tucker’s massage therapist reported that the locker room had become dangerously slippery due to the copious amounts of oil being used. “It’s like an ice rink in there,” complained one teammate, who preferred to remain unnamed for fear of slipping on record.
Tucker defended his use of the oil, claiming it was essential for his performance. “You try kicking a 50-yard field goal without proper thigh lubrication,” he retorted during a press conference. Meanwhile, Diddy has denied any involvement, though he admitted, “I do appreciate a well-moisturized individual.”
The league is taking the matter seriously, concerned about both the safety hazards and the bizarre connection to Diddy’s pampering products.
As of press time, the NFL had announced plans to regulate personal care products in locker rooms, while Tucker was seen negotiating endorsement deals with several major skincare brands.
Joe King, you make us laugh!
Who’s Joe King? Ohhhh. Wait a minute. Joe King. I get it. Jo_king*. BaaahaaaAAAHHHH!!!!!
* Hat-Tip: Svengoolie’s ‘Too Drawn Out’. 🎩