After the craft that took two astronauts to space was deemed unsafe to fly back with occupants, Boeing announced today that it was dispatching a tow truck to outer space to haul its busted equipment back to Earth.
“Oh damn, you’re not gonna believe the call that dispatch just sent me on,” said Glenn Walker, a local tow truck driver that generally handles things in the tri-county area, but was assigned to make the launch into space and bring the problematic capsule back to the Earth’s surface.
“I better pack a lunch, this is going to take me a while,” he continued. “They’ve never sent me to space before. I should gas up the truck.”
The decision to strand the astronauts as opposed to letting them ride home in an unsafe spacecraft wasn’t an easy decision, according to Boeing executives.
“At first we thought they could make it back home, they were just missing a few features like navigation and the AM/FM radio,” said Boeing CEO Kelly Ortberg. “But when our data came back that the capsule is most likely going to shred like paper when it re-enters the Earth’s atmosphere, well, at that point, we made the difficult decision to let SpaceX bring ‘em home. Now their safety isn’t our problem anymore!”
As of press time, the Boeing tow truck had broken down and become stranded in space. Employees are scrambling to find the driver a way home.
I look forward to your post every morning. I forward them to friends and I’m amazed how many think it’s true. Well, I suppose it’s not so hard to believe – considering the the time we are living in… Thank you for giving me one thing I can laugh about every day.
Hey Boeing …how’s that DEI working out for you ha ha ha ..that will teach you to listen to the deep stink government
DEI and WOKISM again show how terribly awful of an idea this liberal policy proves to be every day. And the Lib’s or communists, if you prefer, want the public to vote for a DEI hire for president and a Chines communist sympathizer for V.P. What could possibly go wrong with this ???? I can give a thousands reasons why this is NOT GOING TO FLY. !!!!
i don’t know why this is such a problem. All they have to do is call Marvel and have them send Iron Man up to bring the whole space ship back. And who ordered the tow truck? Kamala?
I couldn’t order a pizza. That’s why I have unburdened myself from what was… the biden-Harris regime. Once time passes, and passes every day, the time to pass is now. You can see it with your own eye!!
First time reader Your articles make more sense than most of the crap put out by the mainstream media.
Welcome, the more you read, you’ll find it will never make less sense than MSM..
This is stupid, everybody knows that gas would dribble out of gas cap in a vacuum, so the NHTSA would have had to already make $$$$$$ vacuum-proof gas caps mandatory for all Extra-Terrestrial Electric Tow Trucks (for all the children”s safety).
I rate this article as a total waste of my time.