Republican presidential nominee Donald J. Trump dodged gunfire from no less than four different sources during a speech earlier today, sources have confirmed.
“Man, he’s getting so good at avoiding these assassination attempts,” remarked Joan Woods, a spectator at today’s Trump rally. “In a perfect world, we’d stop letting would-be assassins get so close to one of our presidential candidates, but until then, I’m glad Trump is so nimble for his age. Did you see that backflip he landed at one point? Joe Biden could never.”
Despite the former President’s physical adeptness at avoiding the gunfire, he called for a better solution in the future.
“Folks, this is ludicrous,” said Trump, while ducking behind the podium during one particularly heavy round of gunfire. “Is the Secret Service here? Can anyone tell me what’s going on, and why a new shooter is getting alarmingly close to me every single day? You don’t scare me. You losers can’t even aim!”
Following the disastrous event, Donald Trump was spotted on his private jet watching The Matrix films while taking notes and nodding.
Looks like we’re one step closer to becoming a third world country, where we try to assasinate a political opponent.
It’s far too late to avoid being a third world country. Comrade Comey made us a third world country on July 5th, 2016.
The demonRATS rigged the 2020 election with the help of Tony Fauci’s Chinese Lab creation to create a “national emergency” so they could totally change the elections rules. Fauci was also involved with the HIV epidemic to kill off homosexuals. He has a bad habit it seems. 80 million deaths worldwide most from the gene therapy shots and not the man-made virus, kind of like HIV. Only countries like South Korea, India, Peru and Mexico that had full access to Ivermectin reported “no apparent pandemic”. Pretty interesting isn’t it?? U.S. doctors were threatened by the FDA not to recommend or use the one existing drug that was successful. There is a sickness in most societies today and it is not a virus it is our governments. The demonRAT communist party must be punished.
First; There have been several searches and nothing has come up to show the 2020 election was rigged. Hillary could have thrown the same tantrum when trump stole it from her by means of the Electoral College.
Just because things are happening folks don’t agree with doesn’t justify calling names.
Opinions are fine-slander and rumourmongering are poison. So many “attempts” on his life? Nobody is that bad a shot-he’s probably set up the golf course one and this one.
You need to rethink your statements and positions. Trump did not set up any assassination attempt on his own life. You do not want responses involving harsh language… yet you are such a bonehead that it is impossible to not point that out immediately. I will refrain from utilizing the words Stupid, illinformed or Idiot… tho they fit.
The article you are commenting on is parody and that obviously escaped you. You are a Liberal Fool and a waste of time.
TRUMP 2024❤️
You beat me to it Ramsey……… I recall a saying by Bugs Bunny: “What a moroon!” I can’t believe how many idiots think this site is real. Let’s pray most of them are too lazy to vote.
It’s not nice to call people names. However, you fit the description of an ignoramus.
Shut up bitch, go back to your Hillary hole!
The next time you hear thunder might be God taking out the trash: you.
Tammy, You are the typical brainwashed liberal who is denying all of the proof that fake ballots have been discovered in the 2020 election all of these years later! You purposely fail to mention it, just like your democratic communist party. Do you have the guts to read Mao’s Rules for Insurgency,? If you did you will see how this administrations policies have followed the communist dictators rules on how to take over a country and turn it communistic. This is what you are supporting and I bet you don’t really care .
And the American people want revenge, I feel that way too! but the revenge is up to the Lord, so we will have to be satisfied with them going to hell.
Yes! The Lord said that vengeance is His.
The next time you hear thunder might be God taking out the trash: you.
A constitutional amendment to burn all the traitors alive might be in order…
Imagine the global warming from that bonfire!
Betcha these “big” guns were hired by Trump to take mis-aim. A serious assain would never have missed.
You are an IDIOT!
Just shoot me close to my head. Try for an ear and make it look good. Never mind if you miss and shoot me in the head never mind if you kill good people behind me. You are a moron ….. your side can never admit to the violent speech you spew. Or the ugliness in your hearts when you think why did they miss. Please do some soul searching and heal yourself.
YOU ARE SO STUPID TO THINK THAT. I THINK WHAT PROTECTS HIM ARE GUARDIAN ANGELS. YOU ARE A MOORAN. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO TO A SPEECH AND STAND WITH HIM AND SEE IF THEY CAN HIT YO
Look in the mirror. See the hate & violence.
I think a constitutional amendment to burn all the traitors alive is in order.
Such hate. My Mormon little sister is full of unexplained hate such as yours. It is sad for you but it is those around you (if you still have anyone willing to be around you) that suffer the most.
What an idiot you are for sure, With a comment like that! Ridiculous !
Your support of the NSDAP is duly noted.
Spoken by a complete Fool!!!
Your full of feces. Is stupid a source of pride for you?
I agree with you. If there were four today and the other two? Maybe the first one was real but after the idiot called them losers and jokers he’s setting himself up for a real shot. I’m not encouraging it-but he’s getting sassy and becoming a challenge. Frankly I think everyone is entitled to their ideas and shouldn’t be shot because sensible people don’t agree.
Marion you are a retard
The hate needs to stop. Grow up haters. The current administration is in dire need of fixing – Kamala let the border go for years!! She Didn’t do her job. Try that at work yourselves folks, see how long your boss will put up. President Trump, you have prayers being sent your way! I also think of his gracious wife & family, they don’t deserve this.
You can bet cia/fbi/usss one or all are in on the attempts on Trumps life. They fear retribution for their continuing attempts to overthrow the United States and install puppets. Obama was serious when he said he would transform America. Trump appeared out of nowhere and beat Hillary. So they installed biden with kamala who got zero votes, rigged the election and now dumped biden for Harris at the last minute. The election might well be stolen again.
AMEN !
Our government has been over-run with “TRAITORS”, far too long. Even “republicans”,….look at BUSH
& CHENEY, the RINO’S, now supporting HARRIS! One only has to look around them and see the corruption thats taken hold in America. We KNOW what Trump is capable of doing, becasue, under him, we had the
best economy, and people felt safer , than we had in a mighty long time. HE KNOWS HOW TO RUN AMERICA….and he needs another chance, TO PROVE he can do it again. To continue letting the world flood in , our God Given Rightswill be destroyed. To call Trump the “”vile names”‘ democrats are calling him,
is EXACTLY, WHAT “THEY ARE”. Biden’s condition must be “highly contagious” becasue there certainly seems to be a surge in “mental illnesses” in people who frequent democratic conventions”. NO ONE, “in their right mind”, would vote for Harris/Walz . Pack your cabinets with drugs, you can bet they’ll be bringing another CHINA PANDEMIC, to keep us corralled again, along with CHINA’S LAW & ORDER. Maybe before the election? Kamala sounds like a broken record. All she can spew is “her childhood and the neighbors immaculately groomed lawns”. WHO CARES?? GIVE US SOME “TRUTHS” on WHAT SHE’LL DO TO
BENEFIT AMERICA. and CLOSE THE BORDER.
After completing his next four year term, Trump will be replacing Keano Reeves on the next episode of “The Matrix.”
It is very apparent to anyone watching that the Agencies and persons responsible for the safety and security of the President and Candidates are NOT doing their jobs, at least for any of the Republican Candidates.
In fact, there “appears” to actual be an attempt to assist in these attempts at assassination by these agencies through neglect of watching the most likely places an attempt would be made from, ignoring multiple Citizen’s warnings and sightings of strange behavior and replacing personnel who would usually be on the protection detail with substitutes who had no or very little training and who could easily be expendable as scapegoats by the administration.
I make no accusations, but it seems very strange to me that those who KNOW that they cannot win this election if Trump runs are the ones giving out the rhetoric that all but calls for his assassination, and then there are two attempts with a VERY sketchy attempt at protection.
We need to work on a constitutional amendment to burn all the traitors alive. That’s the only way to get rid of the garbage.
Comrade Harris will finish off America and announce it as a third world swamp with no rights for the peons.
With the present direction our government has taken we are now a communist led country. Barber you do not deserve to live in the U.S.
The stores are all out of Haitian Hamburger Helper! Both the Cat and the Dog flavored varieties!