A voter who is still somehow undecided as to which presidential candidate they prefer has revealed their election day plan: they’re going to flip a coin inside of the voting booth.
“I tried so hard, but I just couldn’t figure out who I liked better,” said Hank Richardson. “And even though it’s been made abundantly clear by recent history just what these two candidates will bring to the table if elected, I just, I don’t know. I can’t call it. I’m just gonna flip a coin when I get in there, and let my lucky nickel sort this whole mess out.”
Voting officials didn’t necessarily approve of Richardson’s plan, but admitted that it was not illegal.
“Nope, wearing a Trump hat, giving someone water in line, these are the things that are forbidden on election day for some reason” said local official Sheila Peters. “There’s no law against being a complete blockhead without an idea of who to vote for and flipping a coin in there. There probably should be, but there’s not. I let him go in there with his nickel. I really just want to keep the line moving.”
As of press time, the nickel had hit the ground and rolled away from the booth, causing Richardson to panic and vote for Jill Stein.
If you can’t make up your mind, just abstain!