Wendy’s fast food restaurants announced a new weeklong promotion that will see their hamburgers cost one penny and still be overpriced, sources have confirmed.
“Oh god, what was I thinking?” asked Nathan Woods, a customer having lunch at a local Wendy’s. “This place has never been my favorite, but I’m so broke that I couldn’t say no to some one-cent burgers. Frankly, I should have just eaten some of the dirt in the parking lot. That would have still been cheaper, and my insides would feel about the same at this point. Good lord. I better take the rest of the day off and get home where I’ll feel comfortable spending the afternoon in the bathroom. The one-cent burgers are not worth it!”
“Frosty was pretty good, though,” Woods added.
The promotion was merely the latest in the fast food chain’s attempts at changing their public perception.
“We’ve been viewed as a third or fourth-tier fast food joint for too long,” said current Wendy’s CEO Kirk Tanner. “And we’ve tried everything we can think of, from being sassy on Twitter to writing goofy shit on our bags. This is our last ditch effort: one-cent burgers. If this doesn’t work we’ll probably just become a dispensary chain or something. I don’t know.”
As of press time, Wendy’s had announced a new inclusion to the promotion that will see them cover any medical bills incurred from ingestion of low-grade Wendy’s meat.
Only two good things at Wendy’s. Chili and Frostys
Chili made from yesterday’s one cent burgers
Don’t care what you say…Wendy’s is still my favorite burgers when I can afford them. Maybe I’ll have to invest a few pennies today to get some. Frosty and Fries too. YUMMMM!!
You know maybe if Wendys would try to improve the tast of there hamburgers, (sents thats what I read on this news add) it might make a difference. I live in Germany they used to have a wendys a long time ago but no more, so sad. Myself I liked Wendys I miss there commercials they used to have with Wenndys dad. The chili was always good on a cold winter day and yes the frostys are good too. Now that I think about it I sure could eat a nice hot bowl of Wendys Chili right now. MMMMMmmmmmmm.